I do say,

That was a fine sleepover! Rather successful in terms of amusement and chat time. Another success would be driving... You drove - FINALLY! And I helped :D. Perhaps after a few more times such as that, you will become more confident and be able to venture to a few public roads in the future.

Don't get so excited about that stuff. You're stuck in that hopeful "please be him!" phase, and while you want to make it go away, you also leave the room for it to turn into something when right now you've agreed to NOT let anything happen for awhile. Just let it be, and be excited when Sam or myself talks to you instead. We like to think that we are exciting sometimes, too B). It's worse that you also know what he wants, has done, and is capable of pulling on you... You are just kind, and like myself, give him the leeway he needs to constantly re-enter your mind. Let the past take care of what your "no, don't think about him" thoughts can not.