People!

• YOU: Today was fun and slightly filled with lack of sanity.
• YOU: You're lucky you called me twice, I was hurt that you didn't come and say hi!
• YOU: I wonder what your plan of action is with bringing up such things.
• YOU: What's going on in your head? Your interests, I know, lay in other places mostly.
• YOU: Hope things are good.
• YOU: I'll admit, it was very weird that you didn't speak to me all day. XD

Such a simple act renders me surprised. xD

I think that you are actually trying to lead up to something...

For anyone who is concerned, I've never been on a simple date that does not result in a relationship. I think I would like to, one day, try out this crazy idea.

ALSO! I am super excited for Thursday! I am sad that Sam is working, though :(.

I enjoyed today. Work was super dull but also fun for that little while, and I ate in the lunch room with other staff members. xD Instead of by myself in the training room. I wonder what's going on with you... Bleh.

Tiredness has struck like a truck and I am not escaping it whatsoever. Hunger seems to come with this, or a similar feeling which clearly isn't hunger because I've eaten enough this afternoon. I really, really want a salad or something, though. Maybe I'll use all of my spare time tomorrow for some exercise? HA-HA. No, really, I might go outside.

Some Archie comic readin' might be nice. Or Trumpet of the Swam. I've enjoyed it thus far. :)

I hope that - if the possibility is there - you don't ask me. XD
Not to be mean. You're dandy. But now I'm uncomfortable. >.>

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I wonder what else will happen.

I'm curious as to what this summer holds in store. I don't sense that it will hold any life-changing surprises. It still doesn't really feel like summer. I feel like I'm on a pro-longed break that will end in the next week.

• Today, I let go of whatever was holding me back and enjoyed talking with you.
• Today, I saw you and you were confused and I felt bad and amused at the same time!
• Today, I had a lot of fun being with you and realized that you are excellent company :).
• Today, I got some exercise with you and we had fun, so thanks!
• Today, I was degraded by several boys and men and one slightly discomforting older man.
• Today, I realized that next car wash I should wear something that shows none of my body so I walk away feeling like a decent human being.

Alright. I'm uncomfortable now. It's unfortunate that he was right in calling your personality accurately, because you are a good person. You just need to... Not act like that when you don't know me. You think you do, but you don't. I don't know you either. Really, what we have is still a forming friendship and I want to stay away from you now -.- When we visit next, which you seem to be pushing for... I don't want it to be long.

>.< .

Things get better.

I want to work on my fitness.

Today was fun.

Thanks for that, 'twas nice!

.... You! I'm going to get to you. Just wait and see.

Do you actually hide part of yourself from me? o.O

HEY YOU! Nice talking to you again.

Sam. I enjoy you.

It's odd how those intense downward spirals of sadness can level off to something nice so quickly after sleep.

I'll just blame this on that.

Ughhhhh. :(


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Thoughts of the evening

• This week will be not-so-great for visiting you guys, but next week we can begin, okay?!
• Thanks for the offer, I appreciate being thought of, this summer will be a friend-building one.
• ... Hehhh I always forget about those thoughts. I like when you're human.
• Alright, trying to ignore the fact that I'm almost uncomfortable now.
• Still alive? I'm sure you are, I acted weirdly when you messaged me, now you stopped... Hope all is well o.O

Ah-ha!

You come on too strong. Back off a bit then I'll feel better. xD

Thanks.

Definitely did not relieve all stress but was a nice thing to do. Ha ha.


My stomach is in knots. I can't make my legs stop moving without a lot of willpower. Things will get easier. That's how it goes. I cling to that, and getting my license. Two more weeks.


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Fmbmmluhmmgrul.

That title, if sounded out, depicts how logical I feel when I'm this tired.

"Step outside of the box and in to a new one. If you're not inside the old box how can you feel boxed in?" This makes a lot of sense. Thank-you, I will try to step outside of the box. When I obtain my license I can drive out of the box more often. xD :)

That was probably the most unusual sleepover full of mishappenings and misfortunes ever to have been a part of my sleepover count. So sorry about all of that XD. We made a delicious cake that everyone likes, though. xD

Today I got to use my VIP discount! WOOOOO. Is it odd that I identify you with pickles most of the time? Or identify pickles with you? My dad thinks you look like a natural, good job :).

I think I'll just.. I don't know, I don't want to say give up on trying, but I think I'll wait until you seem to care a bit more. I try to push care on you but you don't seem to want it. Perhaps you're protecting him, thank-you if you are I guess.

Hey, I get claustrophobic with people, I still love them deep down!

I am content in being labeled as a sly pooch, though. I'll be saying "pooch" inside my head for awhile now.

Who is a sly pooch? Meh?

Hello, sirs and madams.

• Dear You: I'm sorry. You feel far away but if I go close then I feel you suffer.
• Dear You: I love you very much. Through your ups and downs and what leaves me feeling inferior I will stand by you. Foeva'!
• Dear You: I love you a lot and I can only feel that good things will grow from this. I can't imagine you not being around years from now.
• Dear You: I'm sorry that we haven't visited very often this year, but I want to make it up to you in the summer. You are a good friend.
• Dear You: I think that you are quite dandy despite a few things that could be deemed less than dandy! I await many goodnesses.
• Dear You: I'd like if you acted like you appreciated my friendship, maybe during the summer you will be more open. Or stick by him, I lose in the latter.
• Dear Self: You have a good plan and will do good things, I can promise you this. Life is opening up and you are more prepared than you let yourself believe.

Alright.

You do that, and see if you can relax a bit.

I don't want to keep dealing with all of this stress. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do but if I go back, then I'm betraying myself and I'll continue to make you unhappy because there will be confusion. I like the free feeling. Let it be.

YO YO YO.

Dear Shelby: Hello. I enjoy you and your antics which - despite you claiming to hate me for mine - grow increasingly odd ("I'm a bird I'm a bird...")

Dear Samantha: Hello! You are a funny person. I like that I love you for how loving and innocent and weird you can be ("Hey there, gurlfrand!").

Just a note to both of you.

I'll stand by you

This will get better. You don't see it now but that's because we have only known one another. Spend time with other people that you don't usually. Make yourself do fun things with fun people. I am.

For now. Treat this as a new beginning rather than an end. It can't be looked at as temporary otherwise it's pointless.

Neither of us are 'okay',

But we will be! I want to genuinely see what happens this time instead of giving in to that intensely strong "I wish" "I want" "I need" "I can't" feeling. I love being with you but things were unsteady and I foresee us being together again. I need to know, though, and you should try to embrace the friendship for what it is right now.

I enjoyed our time together, it was different - kind of feels like it didn't really happen though!

I'm very glad that you are going to have this opportunity... It'll make things good. I hope you'll be happier!

So strange - only 11 days until school is done... Then will begin my last highschool summer vacation. I'll miss my family if I go away somewhere but I really want to know what campus life is like - and I think I'd come home almost every weekend. Every holiday, too.

I'm excited about stuff.

• This time-taking thing is confusing and frustrating, but good I suppose.
• I look forward to learning more.
• Driving will be something I can do on my own soon enough!
• A future without living at home scares meeee.
• I'll be so impatient for next year now!
• Hopefully, you (pl.) are okay.