You are more than capable of being perfectly fine in a situation that is perfectly happy. Switching back to first person, I think that what I don't want is to have stuff pointed out anymore. No more comparing what was to what is. I'm living in the now and going with how I feel. If how I feel is innocent and I need to get through that, then I really think it would be easier if you just let me. What I'm doing, or not doing, is not in any way indicating that I care any less. You might have had your breakthrough and then expected things to be normal - it did not happen that way for me, you must realize this. Yes, two people can be happy together forever but I don't want to say that my future holds you in it as my partner when that hope, feeling, knowledge was smothered by a rainbow of weird emotions constantly messing with me. It was frustrating and I opened my eyes to the possibility of sharing my life with other people. I'm scared for what you'll do when I go to university, because you'll go to a school for music and I'll go for my degrees - they'll probably be different schools... Pictures of us show what happiness can look like for two people in love, though; so I will try to focus on that for now.
The fact I suddenly want to cry a bit is what I believe to be the result of this project, and everything I just typed out, and the fact that you are coming back and I fear that things will not go as you hope and you'll become depressy again.
Life is good, though. Life will go on.
Reminders that I have forgotten to say aloud lately:
- I am a good person.
- I will be successful in whatever I do.
- The sound of people eating is no reason to be furious.
The last one is the one I really need to work on.
How do you do a strikethrough on here?
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