Rawrness! I love you. -.-

I’m not really sure what I’m thinking about all of this.

Maybe I’m feeling kind of trapped, but trapped by love and goodness? It is odd to think that what I wanted so much before isn’t having the same effect now. Perhaps because it came too late to really strike me. I dropped my “you’re the only one” card and have yet to pick it up again. That’s why I can love you so much and still feel that twang whenever I think about… Other things. It is simply due to my letting go so quickly of that one thing. As upset as I was at the time I had been so prepared to do it I just let go right then and let things happen. Such a frustrating predicament I put my mind in - I now regret it but I don’t know that I could help it. Maybe I could have not talked to him for so long. It was really helpful, though. I’m just not sure what to do. Right now, I think the week has to go by and I’ll see how my mind relaxes (or doesn’t) as the week progresses. If I’m having a lot of trouble I might have a problem, if not then perhaps all I need to is to put space until I’ve re-committed myself? The thing is, I am not so certain that I’m going to allow myself to totally abandon those small feelings that I’ve allowed to re-exist. It felt really nice to be back there again. HOWEVER, you love me very much and I love you very much and we have something extremely good that many people do not find for a long time. I need to think about that. The grass isn’t aways greener on the other side, but now I know that there is other grass… And I kind of want to know. Again though, I don’t know if I want to actually venture over. I do, but there’s too much to lose.