It is so bothersome how I feel about this situation. I don't get itttt.

What. do. I. want.

I want no strings attached and no feelings of guilt or fear that someone else will be hurt, then I just want to lean against someone and have their arms around me and MAYBE hold my hand.

Is this possible? Hehhhh.

Did I just upset you by telling you that...?

Stings but oh well. Maybe things can work a bit now.

• Sad mood.
• Content mood?
• I am confused.
• Life is happening too quickly.
• I am unfit.
• I must remind myself that sometimes you seem to only want things because that's the easiest way to make conversation.
• Where is my joy?
• Meow.

Don't cling, please. You seem new to this and I'm not ready for something.

I guess I am more comfortable solely pursuing.

And the familiar feeling arises again.

You're nice. Remarkably on the same page, sometimes.

Finally.

You are so very adorable!

Just keep focused on the now - avoid has-beens and could-bes!

Dang.

GET OUT, DREAMS.

Not quite the hand holding I had in mind but it is close enough xD.

Another low swing of my caring. Two more weeks then I can maybe find a new friend to liven things up.

That was to be expected. It wasn't as disappointing as I thought; it simply brought the wondering to a momentary halt.

I am still curious about why you had that brief period of treating me like an equal, but some thoughts can now rest.

School will hold good things for me - especially if her friends will be going there (hallelujah).

So, oh, dysfunctional.