You said one day you'd be mentally ready to take the next step. That was before. I believe your feelings were real. Some way or another they were.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I think if I was unwise enough to sacrifice my safety for someone in your position once... I will probably be unwise enough to wait around against my own will for the slim chance that you change your mind, because I simply can't wrap my head around the fact that you couldn't consider later on when you said everything you already did.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
I have recently developed a much more intense sense of appreciation for you two. I do not know where it came from, but I am happy that I love my two best friends extra dearly as of late!
My mom being sad so much makes it seem like she doesn't want to talk to me ever, but I can forgive her even if it makes me kind of upset.
There's this little issue I have, where I really really care about you, but I am too scared of doing anything so I'll continue making myself silently suffer through it while toying with the idea of moving on and confusing myself further. I do not know what to do because I no longer know what you are thinking - at least in regards to me. I'm so terrified of commitment, I do not know if that means I need to push past it or if I need to acknowledge it and wait until the fear subsides. I think if I waited and it actually subsided then I'd realize there was a good reason for it going away.. But what if it doesn't. I like you a lot. Even if you're really weird and irksome a lot of the time. It's only a matter of time before I tell you I love you completely by accident and then crumple into an awkward heap. XD
Oh my gosh. I don't know what to do if you try to make a move again. Well really, I do know what to do, it is to explain to you what I am feeling. Easier said than done... Not really. I need to just do it... I love you, butttt I just can't push past this barrier I've put up against you.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I just feel sad. I am being melodramatic and I let my feelings get the better of me and you only want to be friends and you still have a mushy confused heart and you can't imagine ever dating again. I want to be normal with you like we were before but physical contact makes me feel like you'll be able to sense my feelings so I'm just frustrated. I'll be your friend and I'll support you through this and I'll hope that you won't be numb forever because you're really great and I want to keep you in my life. You are a great addition to my small
Collection of really great friends. One day I will awkwardly inform you that I love you as a friend like I eventually did with Samantha and Shelby. I care about you and that's why I'm rambling and if you could be less attractive and intelligent I'd find this a lot simpler, thank-you. I feel privileged to have you be find of me and unfortunate to have let things happen this soon even though I wanted them to. We are really in sync with one another and even if you can't see it I think we would be good eventually. Maybe we will. I'll try to ignore that belief for now.
Collection of really great friends. One day I will awkwardly inform you that I love you as a friend like I eventually did with Samantha and Shelby. I care about you and that's why I'm rambling and if you could be less attractive and intelligent I'd find this a lot simpler, thank-you. I feel privileged to have you be find of me and unfortunate to have let things happen this soon even though I wanted them to. We are really in sync with one another and even if you can't see it I think we would be good eventually. Maybe we will. I'll try to ignore that belief for now.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I am now of age for the new phase to begin.
- Does not feel like it.
- Probably going to be the more difficult birthday to accept.
- So many things to accept.
- RAAAAAAAHHHH. Whyyyyyyy am I thinking this now.
- I love you and you and you!
- Please just.. Shhhhh.
- Quitting will be relaxing.
- Probably going to be the more difficult birthday to accept.
- So many things to accept.
- RAAAAAAAHHHH. Whyyyyyyy am I thinking this now.
- I love you and you and you!
- Please just.. Shhhhh.
- Quitting will be relaxing.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
That was to be expected. It wasn't as disappointing as I thought; it simply brought the wondering to a momentary halt.
I am still curious about why you had that brief period of treating me like an equal, but some thoughts can now rest.
School will hold good things for me - especially if her friends will be going there (hallelujah).
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Dear Samantha and Shelby,
Your names feel and look so natural to me now, it is a wonderful feeling. They are pretty names and when I see them they look safe and secure and that is because they are smothered in love and that is great. Perhaps our dynamics are a bit off between the three of us at times, but both of you mean so much to me and I feel so sure that nothing can break what is already shared between us. Feeling a bit melodramatic at the moment, but I felt you two should know that we are those friends that will simply and inevitably be stuck together for the rest of our lives. I do not mean stuck as in forced to be together, but actually stuck by some sort of substance or force or something of those natures that makes life feel wrong without having you in it. I do not necessarily speak of us as a tri-force, but this is me speaking to both of you from my perspective. Basically... I love you. Que sera sera.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Metabolism training!
Continuously changing my opinion on this matter. I kind of miss having a focus.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I try to stay content!
It's difficult to fight what is constantly preached.
Also, I'd throw away my single life for either of you. XD
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
It is nice to have you back.
- I feel as though I am a bit scatter-brained and it is irritating me.
- Not sure what I waaaant!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Though it may seem otherwise.
There are special people that I love - I just don't always feel like I need to indulge in them for that to be made true.
99.9% success rate.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
I am so truly happy that you initiated a loving chat with me, thank you very much, I miss you. Your words are kind and funny and I am glad that you care. I love you.
As for you.. I don't know. I lack words in this area. I do care about you, but I sense betrayal.
Let's just take 20 things that I admire and appreciate, put them inside a beautiful parcel, and create something that will plague my mind for months. Done!
Pretty picture, my butt!
Why are you compelled to ruin my chances and abuse my feelings? With the KNOWLEDGE that I feel a particular way?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I love Shelby and Sam!
Alright, I shouldn't freak out too much... This is simply a pleasant thing. Nothing to be too excited over!
I'm getting very strong "I'm following you around" vibes. I really enjoy you as a person, but don't overwhelm me, please.
Monday, February 7, 2011
It's not that easy, you know.
I have gotten myself stuck, and as much as being unstuck would be nice, it's kind of comfortable here. In a sad and irksome way.
You - I don't know exactly what I want from you, but I'm frustrated by the way things have unfolded and you overwhelm me sometimes.
I bid adieu my good feelings because someone else has talked about me again, but I doubt it worsened the situation, it was already fairly hopeless!
I bid adieu my good feelings because someone else has talked about me again, but I doubt it worsened the situation, it was already fairly hopeless!
Location:Okay.
Success is still siding with me!
I think what I did today was subconsciously take everything that I had stressed me out in the past two weeks or so, and basically release it all. Where I reeeeally needed to, I focused, but for the most part I just let myself laugh and have a non-thought-full day.
Blah, I miss you.
On the other hand, I have developed a completely self-created sense of confidence in the situation and it makes me feel dandy. XD
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Ah, what a fine line.
I am unsure about what to do with this feeling. I suppose I'll just... Leave it alone.
I'm envious =.=
I'm envious =.=
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I really didn't believe that you wouldn't settle for anything less. It is a surprise to me that you haven't recovered - perhaps at all. That's a load off my shoulders, no need to worry about that anymore.
- I figured you'd be loving. XD
- Love me some free feeling.
- You are all a very enjoyable group of people.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Ahh!
I feel so confused!
It's all good, though. I get some sort of satisfaction out of avoidance even though you don't care.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Some days..
I am just so proud of you!
I don't speak from a high level of expertise, but all the same that fact remains.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Note to self: I barely know you.
My heart rate over this matter concerns me. It puts me in that mood of desperation.. Must escape!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
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